Higfedmip is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unthinking crocodile.

Higfedmip created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higfedmip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Higfedmip, he will remove you from existence.

Higfedmip's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Higfedmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about gravity.