Somsaffun is a god.

He takes the form of a large, uncaring swallow.

Somsaffun created the Tadpole Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Somsaffun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Somsaffun, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Somsaffun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Somsaffun's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms cyan.

2. Worship no other gods but Somsaffun.

3. Retreat if five badgers approach from the north.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Put Somsaffun first in all things.