Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient fly.

Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum, she will not care at all.

Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not take Gatnarl Pashomgil Tadarncum's name in vain.