Bagcenrak is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic jackal.

Bagcenrak created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Bagcenrak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bagcenrak, he will not invite you to parties.

Bagcenrak's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bagcenrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt gulls.

2. Never wear violet kilts.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bagcenrak.

4. Never run in the presence of ants.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.