Ratsomfiddut Lennuttkem is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthoughtful frog.

Ratsomfiddut Lennuttkem created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Ratsomfiddut Lennuttkem, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ratsomfiddut Lennuttkem, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ratsomfiddut Lennuttkem's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Ratsomfiddut Lennuttkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never sing near seals.