Cedbigbepladzimhun is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable dugong.

Cedbigbepladzimhun created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedbigbepladzimhun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cedbigbepladzimhun, he will send you a sign.

Cedbigbepladzimhun's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Cedbigbepladzimhun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats in need.

2. Worship no other gods but Cedbigbepladzimhun.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not take Cedbigbepladzimhun's name in vain.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.