Milcidgig Kinhathud is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented squid.

Milcidgig Kinhathud created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Milcidgig Kinhathud, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Milcidgig Kinhathud, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Milcidgig Kinhathud's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Milcidgig Kinhathud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear scarves.