Lakwigwodflat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient wasp.

Lakwigwodflat created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakwigwodflat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lakwigwodflat, she will laugh at you.

Lakwigwodflat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Lakwigwodflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lakwigwodflat.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never jump in the presence of mites.