Tinsatgetlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing dove.

Tinsatgetlarn created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinsatgetlarn, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tinsatgetlarn, she will throw large rocks at you.

Tinsatgetlarn's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tinsatgetlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick squirrels.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Hide if eight eagles approach from the west.

5. Always help nematodes in need.