Kopgamrap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful monkey.

Kopgamrap created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Kopgamrap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kopgamrap, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Kopgamrap's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kopgamrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never look at moons.