Hadhapjin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, intelligent lobster.

Hadhapjin created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadhapjin, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hadhapjin, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hadhapjin's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hadhapjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. You must love Hadhapjin.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.