Vennurlspag is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, dishonest bat.

Vennurlspag created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vennurlspag, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vennurlspag, she will turn you into a rock.

Vennurlspag's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vennurlspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vennurlspag's priests.

2. Do not hurt capybaras.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Respect your elders.