Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonest dugong.

Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas, he will turn you into a slug.

Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas' most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never feed cherries to badgers while wearing pink rings.

5. Cipsabfit Listbesstom Sidquamhas must be the most important thing in your life.