Jarnxenfab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, cheerful pig.

Jarnxenfab created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnxenfab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jarnxenfab, he will destroy your favourite star.

Jarnxenfab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Jarnxenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight tin sculptures of Jarnxenfab on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed lentils to nematodes while wearing yellow ear rings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Fast once a month.