Betmutyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, two-faced swallow.

Betmutyarl created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Betmutyarl, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Betmutyarl, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Betmutyarl's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Betmutyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Betmutyarl loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never talk about geese.

5. Never jump near frogs.