Timceptonk is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, all-powerful dugong.

Timceptonk created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Timceptonk, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timceptonk, she will jump up and down on your head.

Timceptonk's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Timceptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Never paint your arms orange.

3. Worship no other gods but Timceptonk.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Do not speak about melons.