Larnjarn Xenxentag is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, flying dingo.

Larnjarn Xenxentag created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnjarn Xenxentag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larnjarn Xenxentag, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larnjarn Xenxentag's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Larnjarn Xenxentag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnjarn Xenxentag.

3. Hide from pink monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about shrews.