Hadtigbesstargranapprotdot is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fussy penguin.

Hadtigbesstargranapprotdot created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Hadtigbesstargranapprotdot, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hadtigbesstargranapprotdot, he will think nothing of it.

Hadtigbesstargranapprotdot's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Hadtigbesstargranapprotdot's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.