Hapbarngov is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unfair mole.

Hapbarngov created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapbarngov, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hapbarngov, she will turn you into a tree.

Hapbarngov's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Hapbarngov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not speak about nuts.