Larnflyzog Hancetkim Teenveenbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthoughtful donkey.

Larnflyzog Hancetkim Teenveenbonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnflyzog Hancetkim Teenveenbonk, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larnflyzog Hancetkim Teenveenbonk, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Larnflyzog Hancetkim Teenveenbonk's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Larnflyzog Hancetkim Teenveenbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never wear orange corsets.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Larnflyzog Hancetkim Teenveenbonk.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.