Vensaftin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, capable newt.

Vensaftin created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vensaftin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vensaftin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vensaftin's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Vensaftin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink alcohol.