Talfatzodfag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy warg.

Talfatzodfag created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talfatzodfag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Talfatzodfag, it will turn you into a hamster.

Talfatzodfag's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Talfatzodfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Talfatzodfag on top of all buildings.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Do not hurt doves.

5. Never paint your neck orange.