Fassitvegloop is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, awe-inspiring chinchilla.

Fassitvegloop created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fassitvegloop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fassitvegloop, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fassitvegloop's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fassitvegloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Fassitvegloop loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Worship no other gods but Fassitvegloop.

4. Always look after injured shrews.

5. Always stare at clouds.