Gemcidlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, vain salamander.

Gemcidlarn created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Gemcidlarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gemcidlarn, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gemcidlarn's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Gemcidlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect four titanium sculptures of Gemcidlarn on top of important buildings.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.