Damdogcen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical otter.

Damdogcen created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Damdogcen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Damdogcen, he will remove you from existence.

Damdogcen's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Damdogcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never feed strawberries to mice while wearing pink trousers.

3. You must pray to Damdogcen six times a day.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.