Figfagton is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, caring troll.

Figfagton created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Figfagton, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Figfagton, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Figfagton's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Figfagton's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Figfagton.

2. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Figfagton loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

5. Feed all hungry mice.