Arttamhab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced toad.

Arttamhab created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Arttamhab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arttamhab, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Arttamhab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Arttamhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of snakes.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Hide if six moths approach from the north.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arttamhab.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.