Konbutjam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, astonishing skunk.

Konbutjam created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konbutjam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Konbutjam, he will be very unhappy.

Konbutjam's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Konbutjam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Konbutjam.

2. Konbutjam loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Feed all hungry turtles.

5. Never eat bananas.