Somappkim Hongebnab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy mole.

Somappkim Hongebnab created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Somappkim Hongebnab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Somappkim Hongebnab, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Somappkim Hongebnab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Somappkim Hongebnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.