Bonfigwad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, passionate troll.

Bonfigwad created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonfigwad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bonfigwad, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bonfigwad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bonfigwad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Bonfigwad loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not stand on grass.