Latbegomt is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, conceited squid.

Latbegomt created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Latbegomt, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Latbegomt, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Latbegomt's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Latbegomt's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Never sit near swans.

3. Never feed cucumbers to monkeys while wearing purple trousers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.