Zabpogmat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, egotistical eagle.

Zabpogmat created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zabpogmat, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zabpogmat, she will send you a sign.

Zabpogmat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zabpogmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never sit in holy places.