Wotvolstan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, quiet hedgehog.

Wotvolstan created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotvolstan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wotvolstan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Wotvolstan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wotvolstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to frogs while wearing pink coats.

2. Do not take Wotvolstan's name in vain.

3. Always look after injured gulls.

4. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

5. Hide from violet horses for they are unholy.