Yakpoghitont is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered pigeon.

Yakpoghitont created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakpoghitont, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yakpoghitont, she will manifest in front of you.

Yakpoghitont's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yakpoghitont's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Yakpoghitont on top of all buildings.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.