Binkaptonk is a god.

She takes the form of a small, vain grasshopper.

Binkaptonk created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Binkaptonk, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Binkaptonk, she will destroy your home planet.

Binkaptonk's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Binkaptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Binkaptonk.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never paint your face green.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.