Dimpomyar is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous wyvern.

Dimpomyar created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimpomyar, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dimpomyar, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dimpomyar's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dimpomyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always treat tortoises with great respect.