Femsasyim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, vain squid.

Femsasyim created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Femsasyim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Femsasyim, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Femsasyim's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Femsasyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. You must pray to Femsasyim eight times a day.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always help mice.