Tonkfidlit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, slow naga.

Tonkfidlit created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfidlit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tonkfidlit, he will make you grow a tail.

Tonkfidlit's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tonkfidlit's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must pray to Tonkfidlit five times a day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Put Tonkfidlit first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.