Bimkipyik is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, impressive swallow.

Bimkipyik created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimkipyik, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bimkipyik, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bimkipyik's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bimkipyik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bimkipyik.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Worship no other gods but Bimkipyik.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.