Paszagflowxucyim is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, emotional slug.

Paszagflowxucyim created water seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paszagflowxucyim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Paszagflowxucyim, she will not care.

Paszagflowxucyim's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Paszagflowxucyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never wear turquoise ear rings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never eat bark.