Tardinbag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, slow clam.

Tardinbag created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tardinbag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tardinbag, it will send you a sign.

Tardinbag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tardinbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Tardinbag must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tardinbag.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.