Bassveencud is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sapient spider.

Bassveencud created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassveencud, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bassveencud, it will laugh at you.

Bassveencud's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bassveencud's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away if six badgers approach from the north.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help eagles.