Bogtadmot Megquimnak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful snake.

Bogtadmot Megquimnak created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtadmot Megquimnak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bogtadmot Megquimnak, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bogtadmot Megquimnak's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bogtadmot Megquimnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. You must love Bogtadmot Megquimnak.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.