Fobnabbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humane crow.

Fobnabbarn created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Fobnabbarn, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fobnabbarn, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fobnabbarn's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fobnabbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always help squirrels.

4. You must love Fobnabbarn.

5. Fobnabbarn loves turtles, so they must be respected.