Bagappdot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unsympathetic mole.

Bagappdot created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagappdot, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bagappdot, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bagappdot's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bagappdot's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must pray to Bagappdot three times a day.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bagappdot.

5. Never pour water over plants.