Arppitgudpopsak is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, ill-tempered ferret.

Arppitgudpopsak created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Arppitgudpopsak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arppitgudpopsak, it will send you a sign.

Arppitgudpopsak's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Arppitgudpopsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Do not hurt sheep.