Gigdossmob is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty walrus.

Gigdossmob created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigdossmob, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gigdossmob, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gigdossmob's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gigdossmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick eagles.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Never paint your arms mauve.