Zettaltail is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, benevolent giraffe.

Zettaltail created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zettaltail, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zettaltail, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zettaltail's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Zettaltail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must pray to Zettaltail five times a day.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the west.