Kartarquam is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving scorpion.

Kartarquam created light two years ago.

If you believe in Kartarquam, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kartarquam, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kartarquam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Kartarquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Foxes are not to be trusted.

3. Never hurt swans.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.