Dud is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented squirrel.

Dud created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dud, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dud, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dud's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight copper sculptures of Dud on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never sing in the presence of shrews.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not take Dud's name in vain.